DAVID C DAWSON

England

Three Small Words

Bisexual + Gay / 50-59 / White / Athiest

You see I came out a bit late in life. I was 53. But, I’d met a man. And I’d fallen head over heels in love with him. I couldn’t help it. So I had to tell everybody. But I wasn’t out. I mean, I wasn’t out to myself, let alone the rest of the world.

There were two people I had to tell first, who were most important to me. The second of them was the easier one. It was my mum. She was eighty-eight at the time. So when I told her, it was a bit of a shock. Maybe she’d suspected. I don’t know. But, when she met Nick they got along just fine.

One day she and I were sat on the couch together. She suddenly says, “So now you’re gay David, I suppose you’re going to join that London Gay Men’s Chorus?” I was taken aback. I’d not even heard of the Chorus at the time. So she says, “Well, you like singing, and you’ve always sung in choirs. And they were on TV singing with Dolly Parton the other night. They seem like lovely boys. Why don’t you join them?”

So I did. And the London Gay Men’s Chorus has been my lifeline over the last seven years. And I can confirm, they are lovely boys. All of them!

But the first person I had to tell was my son. You see I’d been married before. My wife and I had been divorced for over nine years by then. My son was eighteen and he’d just started at university. I went to tell him in person. But I got so nervous I couldn’t say those three small words, “I am gay”.

The conversation actually went something like this.

“I’ve met someone. And it’s a man.”

So he looks at me. And then he says, “You mean, you’re gay?”

And, I didn’t say anything but I sort of nodded.

He pauses. Then he says, “Do you love him?”

And I said, yes.

And he says, “That’s OK then.”

Then he looks at me again and says, “Love you dad.”

Three small words. They mean so much.