Noé

Pennsylvania + Philadelphia + USA

The Beginning

Female + Gay + Lesbian / 17 and Under / White / Athiest

(Sorry if it’s not perfectly written, English is not my first language.)

I don’t really know where to begin, so I’m just gonna go with my gut. I am a 14-year-old gay woman. When I was about 12, I began to put things into perspective. I wasn’t taught much about it; but when I was 13, I told myself “I’m lesbian” but I let it go. Things started to change when I turned 14 and I realized it was for real.

Not gonna lie, I cried about it and it took me awhile to accept it. I’m just beginning to feel ready to come out. I have a tendency to overthink, so I’m pretty sure this didn’t completely help. To this day, I’ve only told four of my friends. Before I start, I just want to say that I am very lucky that my friends understood it and that they understood why I didn’t want them to tell.

The first coming out we have to go back in February. It was the night and I was talking to my guy friend by messenger about equality between men and woman. After a while, I realized I had to talk about other things in my mind. So, I asked him if I could tell him something. He said yes and I just said, “I don’t think I’m straight.” And he said, “It’s all good” and just like that I was relieved. I thanked him and we never talked about it.

Now, it’s time for story number two. This one is kind of heart whelming. I was on a school trip in Philadelphia and I was with two of my friends in our room. We were coming back from the pool, and they told me that me and one of my guy friend would be a great couple. I told myself, “Okay, you thought about telling them. You’re ready, let’s go.” So, I tell them, “Actually, I have something to tell you. I don’t think I’m going finish my life with a man.” One of my friends stayed quiet and the other one just said, “Come on it’s not true. You are going to find yourself someone.” I said, “Oh no, I know that it just won’t be a man.” After that, we talked until two in the morning about me and it was weird because I’m not used to talking about my feelings.

The third story is when I came out to my friend of the past 6 years. I knew she would be ok about it because we had a conversation about coming out during our trip. Three days after we came back, we went on a walk just the two of us during lunch break, and I made the conversation turn so I could tell her. She reacted really great and we went back to school. We sat at a table and we talked. My friend from the first story came with us and we talked about the fact that it didn’t matter that much.

For now, it’s what concludes my coming out stories but it’s only a beginning and there will be a lot more. If I have a tip for you, it would be that you will know it when you are ready, and it’s ok to have a conversation about you. Remember that you are you and you are loved and it’s ok to be you.