Angel Antosz

Pittsburgh

The Realization I Wasn’t Straight

Bisexual + Genderqueer + Pansexual + Queer + Questioning + Two-Spirit / 17 and Under / White / Agnostic

I always knew I was different from everyone. Throughout grade school, I didn’t think about it because I thought it was my speech problem. My best friend told me not to worry and he’d defend me. I knew by sixth grade that I wasn’t straight. I struggled with my sexuality all through middle school. My best friend knew what was going on but didn’t bud in. He didn’t feel the need to because he knew me so well. He knew before I did and was my support system. He was my shoulder to cry on.

It was ninth grade and I was still questioning my sexuality. Josh (my best friend) went to a different school but we talked on Facebook. We listed each other as brother and sister because we felt that way about each other. Josh would always give me advice. I never knew that in over a year I would come out to most of my school and my mom, stepdad and sister.

Tenth grade comes and I’m accepting myself more. In May of 2016, I come out to Ben and Sead. That same night, I come out to my mom over the phone. Her reaction had relieved me. My step dad was told by my mom and the next time he saw me he hugged me.

My sister was a different story. She kept calling me a lesbian. I told her I’m not a lesbian. Finally she figured out I was bi. I was so pissed and upset but I was like yes I’m bi.

It’s now 11th grade and I’m 17. I’m still in the closet to my dad’s religious family. I don’t plan on coming out to them anytime soon. No one judges me at school for my sexuality and I am happy as can be while being single.

I am questioning my gender. I never thought about it until I thought that I didn’t conform to gender norms. I think I’m genderqueer or both male and female.