Jack Madden

New York City + USA

Questioning and Denial

Gay / 17 and Under / White / Catholic

All my life, my mom and dad told me that they accept the gay community. In late February 2018, I told my parents I might be gay. They said that they loved me and that they don’t care. They said I should see a therapist because they thought it was a good idea before I came out.

After every single session without fail, my mom asked me if I was still feeling gay. It was like she wanted me to be straight, which was probably true. Every time I would fight back and tell her yes, but it wasn’t up to you. It finally got to a boiling point and we lost it. She said she doesn’t want me to “live f*cking alone.” I said, “Just because you think that doesn’t mean I will.” She also said she didn’t envision my life to be like this and I said, “You can’t envision my life.”

My dad and mom talked to my therapist and now things are so much better. They accept me so much more now. I then told my close friends, who are girls. They all accepted me and now we talk about boys and I am so much happier. A huge weight is off my shoulders. When I told my closest and pretty much only guy friends. He is super immature and makes homosexual jokes all the time like everyone else in my grade. When I told him he accepted me but it seemed forced.

Later that day, he stopped talking to me. He hasn’t texted me or snapped me. He hasn’t talked to me since. I know I can tell any girl in my grade because they are all very mature and quite frankly all kind of nice. The boys are immature, perverts, f*ckboys and all around terrible people. Now these boys are the majority but, my grade isn’t ready and quite frankly the boys are j*rks.