Danielle

Middle Chronicles

Female + Lesbian / 17 and Under + 18-22 / Black /

When I was child I never paid attention to boys or girls. I was always focusing on going to school, playing with my friends, and cheerleading (LOL). I mean, of course my friends and I played ‘house’ and we kissed but I just thought it was a game.

Once I got into middle school I started “smelling myself,” as my mother used to say. I was talking to boys but never did anything with them and they just didn’t seem to interest me as much because they were jerks, but I still talked to boys and even kissed a couple. At the same time I just had a certain feeling. I didn’t know what it was.

One day my cousin and I were in the store with my aunt and she was talking about dating this girl she met at her school and I asked her, “Are you gay?” She said, “I don’t know, but I really like her,” so I said, “Hmmmm, maybe I should test it.” So my cousin said, “My girlfriend has a friend who is single.” And from there we exchanged numbers. Me and the girl talked on the phone every night until one day we met in person. Her friends came to my house and she was chubby and short, but I didn’t mind. I guess she didn’t like what she saw though. She said I was too chubby for her. I was heart-broken but I was still interested in girls.

Back at school, there was this girl who was always flirting with me and who was always making me laugh. I told my best friend about my interest in girls and she said she had thought about it too. We went on a field trip the next day and that same silly girl sat behind me on the bus. She just kept poking me and then she asked me for my number. I gave her my number and we talked every day and she told me about her being a lesbian. Eventually, I told my bestie that I had a girlfriend and it got around the school. My girlfriend’s cousin came to me and questioned me in the girls’ room. She was pissed because nobody else knew. I was beyond upset because we were about to fight. Later, my girlfriend told her cousin and her cousin apologized to me.

A few phone calls and a fight in the girls’ room – that’s how is how I came out. I have been with females since middle school!