I had a best friend — I say had because she’s no longer my best friend. Her name was Natalie, I loved her even more as a friend. We were friends since we were babies basically. At age 9 we kissed. She kissed me because she wanted to practice if a boy ever came in her path. But I felt different after.
In middle school I was around age 12. Natalie and I were no longer talking and it hurt because she’s the one that stopped talking to me and she didn’t say anything. It hurt a lot because after the kiss I began having feelings for her. Then I turned 13, I was confused about who I was attracted to. I liked guys but I started seeing girls in another light. But then I realized I didn’t really care about the gender of a person, just the person themself.
At age 14 I accepted myself as Pan. I first told my closest friends Ashley, Sammie, Anaee, and Jasmine. They all accepted me. So I then told my mom, and she didn’t react the best.
She said, “Oh, you’re too young to be thinking that way,” and “Just wait till you’re 18.” My sisters and brother accepted. I didn’t tell my dad because, one night he asked me if I was a lesbian and I said, “No but what if I was?” He said “Then I would kick your ass.” So I didn’t tell him. Later on, finding out he commented along with my aunt on a Facebook post saying, “Homosexuals don’t deserve to be on this world.” I then knew I could never tell him. I’m scared that he’ll kick me out or get my family to disown me.
I am Pansexual.