Jessica Lee

Florida + united states + USA

Only Daughter Coming Out to Island Parents

Bisexual / 18-22 / Mixed / Catholic

So, my Haitian mother and I were never close because she left for five years at the peak of my teenage years. My Crucian father did the same, but he and I had a discussion where we both were going to try to make our relationship better. I was the only daughter between my mother and father in which my mother wanted me to be a girly girl and for us to be close and tight, but we never were.

I knew I was bisexual by middle school and I didn’t think I needed to come out unless I had a girlfriend. My mother didn’t show any signs of homophobia, but she always wanted to know what I was doing, who I was with and such. And, I didn’t want her to know because I just honestly didn’t like her as a person.

My father asked me about a girl, and he said, “If she’s your girlfriend, it’s fine. I’ll just wait until you’re ready to tell me.”  And, I just pushed it off. My mom decided to go through my Instagram and saw a picture of us together. She went crazy and said I was going to hell, I’m disgusting, I have a mental problem, and she snatched the necklace my girlfriend bought off my neck.

She didn’t hit me because she said if she touched me she would’ve killed me. She said I was selfish and that she hated me. She went to tell my stepdad and he was a bit shocked. She called my father and he said he already knew, then they argued about how my mom was handling everything. He wished he could’ve saved me but he was in a different state.

This was around the time I was graduating high school and heading to college in less than a week. After two days, she pretended it never happened until she went through my messages again and found out that I was having sexual intercourse with a female in my campus dorm. She refused to pay for anything involving me living on campus and called me a whore and desperate. Again, her and my father fought about it several times and she continued to go through my messages and became more enraged.

Currently, I’m graduating soon and still living on campus with help from my father and myself. My mother and I flip and flop, due to her moodiness and when she gets triggered by small things, which lead to an argument.

My advice is that when it comes to your mom being invasive and asking questions you don’t want her to know, I think you should say it’s none of your business instead of just ignoring it.