Zachery Coltrane

Georgia + USA

Coming Out to Myself

Gay + Male + Polyamorous + Queer / 17 and Under / Mixed / Athiest

My sexual orientation revealed itself from a very young age. I was never really in the closet to begin with. People used my sexual orientation as an insult WAY before I even came out. I knew that I had these feelings but they didn’t become clear until I remembered that I liked kissing guys and I had feelings for guys. I was brought up to think that my sexual orientation was wrong and abnormal. I had always accepted LGBT people and stood up for them. I never understood why I was scared to BE one of them. I never thought that I would BE one of them.

I finally gained the courage to truly question my sexuality on the night of November 16, 2016. I took a test called “The Gay Test.” The accuracy was on point and you could guess what the results were. I told myself that I had to stop hiding from my feelings. I told myself that if the results indicated homosexuality or bisexuality, that I would not keep it to myself. When I finally came out to myself that night, I looked up LGBT symbols and I came out to my cousin, my then “girlfriend,” and my friends on November 17, 2016. Most of the responses were really good.

Some people said that they either knew or suspected. I got very few negative reactions. But the people who had negative reactions are in the closet themselves. One of them had made out with me years before and the other one is known to be overly macho and goes on the defensive when you ask him about his sexuality. Not to mention the fact that none of his relatives are straight. And as for the one who made out with me, his sister isn’t straight either.

From the day that I came out, I’ve learned to accept myself. My sexual orientation does not determine what kind of person I am and there is nothing wrong with being gay, bisexual, transgender, lesbian, asexual, graysexual, demisexual, pansexual, genderfluid, sexually fluid, etc… You are who you are. You like what you like. If people don’t accept that, then they should not be in your life anyway. I love being gay and I would not trade my feelings with anyone else for the world.

There is the occasional “I wish I were bisexual or pansexual,” but that is just because I want to be able to love everybody regardless of their gender or lack of such. Otherwise, I wouldn’t trade my homosexual feelings for the world.