Anonymous

Battlefield of Love and Life

Bisexual + Pansexual + Queer + Questioning / 17 and Under / Athiest

Since i can remember, Ive secretly been into girls. I mean, yeah, some boys were cool but I’ve liked girls. When i was 7 years old, my parents divorced, and my mom met a woman and started going out with her. This woman had 2 stepsons and the older one molested me when i was younger. They split about a few years later and my mom met another lady and dated her. Things did not go as planned with that one. After two women later, my mom finally got back to the first woman and didnt split. They ended up tying the knot when I was 13. There was certain boys i found cute during my life. But i saw girls and just looked at them and thought wow, she’s so pretty.

My first girlfriend was Celeste. Things definitely did not work between us. Even though it didnt work, i always knew it was because we weren’t the right people, not because we were same sex. My next girlfriend was when i just started high school. I was an eighth grader and she was a twelve grader. I found her really pretty but she started getting controlling and clingy and we moved too fast. I realized that anytime i was with a guy, I felt uneasy and wrong but never with a girl. I also felt like a girl gets me and knows what i like.

So I went to a different high school, freshman year and that year, i dated a guy which didnt feel right. I also dated a girl which went on for a few months which was my longest and it felt right. Then we broke up, and instead of crying i thought to myself, at least i know what I’m into.

Sophomore year, I went out with another girl and we lasted 2 weeks. Again all the guys i dated didnt do it for me. I didnt want to tell my parents because they’ll possibly I’d either be influenced by them or that i was copying them. We had also went to a church with my moms client, (ONLY, because we wanted two spend time with her/and we didnt want her going alone) I’m atheist lol. The pastors son goes to my high school and i dont like that family at all. They’re the biggest hypocrites I’ve ever known. One day, the pastors wife sends me an email saying that Seth apparently blabbed his mouth to his parents that he seen me make out with my girlfriend and cuss in the hallways. She told me that if i was going to be like this i can stop going to church. So I’m like fine, y’all commit a hell of a lot more sins then we other people do so i dont wanna hear shit you have to say. I dont think my mom knows but maybe my parents might find out later down the road, who knows. But i came out to my brother and my friends earlier. My brothers support me to fullest along with my friends, seeming how most of my friends are band geeks, nerds, Emos, and gays. Oh well lol.