Melissa

Florida + Hollywood + united states + USA

AWKWARD

Female + Lesbian / 17 and Under / Hispanic or Latinx / Catholic

When I came out to my mom, it was a few weeks before today (4/16/2018). I am in 7th grade now, but in 5th grade, I knew I was different than my friends, who kept saying that this guy is hot, etc. I was agreeing with everything they were saying, but I felt that that wasn’t my type of style. I noticed I kept on staring at these 2 girls. At the time, I thought it was just because they were my best friends and it was natural to CONSTANTLY STARE AT THEM DURING CLASS AND GET BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH. (Excuse my STUPIDITY from back then.) But, I always told everyone I liked this guy.

Eventually, it came to 6th grade and again, I started to like this girl that was in ALL of my classes. Everywhere I went, she went with me. So, I moved to a completely different county, different city, and a different school. At the beginning of the school year, it was normal. I was a straight girl like everyone else, so I thought. I met a gay kid in Glee Club. (Yes, it was actually in a Glee Club like in the show “Glee”, but without the competition.) And, I got curious about why I kept staring at girls instead of boys. I took a quiz and got bisexual. 80% to 20%, girls to guys. I eventually took more. The percentages went up. I got to the point where it was always saying lesbian. I didn’t tell anyone yet because I was terrified of what they were going to say to me.

I told Glee Club first. Of course, they accepted me and almost all of them told me they weren’t fully straight. There were queer, questioning, gay, bisexual, and lesbian classmates there too. I told my friend I was lesbian and she accepted me. I was on a roll. I told my other friends and it was heaven. Until I told my mom.

It took me 3 weeks to tell her. I gave her a letter. She read it and said, “Are you sure?” I told her, “Yes.”  Then she asked, “Aren’t you too young to know if you are? What if it is a phase and it’s only temporary? How do you fully know?” When I told her I knew it for sure, she said, “Don’t tell anyone because you never know… What if you are doing it because everyone else is doing it?”

Again, I told her I knew for sure and that I am the only one that knew. Yes, I know I lied to her but I really didn’t care. She told me she didn’t believe me. When I told my friends, they told me that it was OK and that I should tell her again when I have a girlfriend. That is exactly what I am going to do!