Growing up in a hetero-normative society can be very difficult for someone who is not heterosexual. What can be even harder is the process of realizing that you don’t fit in.
Those small moments in first grade that you look back on now and say, “Huh, no wonder I was obsessed with that student teacher… I had a crush on her!” The moments throughout middle school where you would notice other females and think about holding their hands, but pushing those thoughts to the back of your mind because all of the other girls were boy-crazy, so you had to be… right? I had emotional feelings for boys, but when it came to anything physical, I was taken back.
When I came to high school, for the first few years I had crushes on guys, but if the feelings were mutual I would shut it down because I knew that it would eventually escalate to something physical. Now I’m a senior in high school and, although it’s been a long process of finding out who I am, I have. It’s taken endless nights of watching coming out stories on Youtube, and sitting up in my bed crying when everyone else in my house was sleeping because I knew I would never be what my family and friends had wanted me to be. But, I am here now. And I’m doing okay. 🙂